Fresh Bread vs Stale Cookies

Have you ever felt a loaf of bread and it seemed stale? Maybe you have taken a bite from a cookie or poured a bowl of cereal only to find out that it's stale? What do you do when that happens? I'm sure your response is like most people, you throw it out. What if I told you that life's daily routines get stale. Sometimes in life you have to be adventurous and spontaneous so things don't get stale.

As many of you know, I am a Director of Dining Services at a local retirement home. I have worked at that job for 10 years. After 10 years, it's easy for me to become stale and stagnant. It's easy for burnout to set in because I've been down this same road many of times. It's easy to pass the blame to someone else about why things are the way they are here. What I've learned over the years throughout life, both personally and professionally, is to be spontaneous. Be adventurous. Sometimes the only thing a stale situation needs is something(s) different from the ordinary.

Invest time! For the past several months, I have been modernizing our menus to upgrade our dining services department. Recently, we had the fantastic time to launch those menus. For the past five weeks or so, I have been working tediously to bring life back into this stale area. Prior to our new menu launch, there were minor adjustments made to the menu. Basically, the menu remained the same for nearly ten years. In my opinion, there should be a revamp every 2-3 years. Surely, you can relate to something lasting longer than it should. If there is a situation that is stale and stinky, maybe you should invest the next solid three months into spontaneity and adventure. Sometimes your breakthrough is simply a breath away!

Be ye separate!   One thing that I've learned over the years is to separate myself from the nay sayers. I believe and am confident that there are stagnant people that love to keep us in a state of being stale. When you have adjusted your way of thinking and you are trying to better yourself, move the people out of your life that are keeping you in the lull place. I believe that friends are a great thing. However, friends can influence you either positively or negatively. If you are trying to get to the place of 'new and fresh', then you may have to abandon all. Abandon people and situations that are not edifying you and exhorting you to a better place in life. Don't allow your friends to keep you bogged down in the mundane things of life. Break away! Be adventurous!!

I'm overwhelmed and scared of change! Like we did on the job, it is easy to become accustomed to the routines of life and not wanting to veer far from that path. It's easy to become accustomed to routine in your relationships and scared to change. However, change is not always bad thing. When I decided to take the leap and alter everything that we knew as safe with our menus, the cooks and production team were a little overwhelmed and scared. All the time leading up to the change, I've encouraged, warned and invested into this team about the changes. I warned them that we could flop. The residents could not adhere to what the vision is and not be satisfied. I warned them that we would have to work as a team to grasp the concept of modern-style dining. However through every warning, I soothed them with encouragement. They were encouraged that I would be beside them all the way through it. I'd hold their hands until they were comfortable leaping on their own. I'd take 100% of the fault if this failed, but really knew it would be successful. The team jumped on board, grasped the vision and everything has changed. You know things have changed for the better when you can feel at peace.

Be bread!  Did you know that if you put a slice of bread in a Ziploc bag overnight with stale cookies in it, the bread breathe life into those cookies. Seriously, your cookies will be softer. How does this happen? In simple terms, the cookies suck up moisture from the bread. Once you get your stale season defeated, be bread to someone else that needs life. Allow your experiences and examples to be moisture to their stale circumstances. Don't throw out the cookies because they are stale. Utilize the qualities that someone (bread) put into you and put it into someone else that needs it (cookies). It's amusing to think that if people knew it just took something simple like bread to save cookies, they wouldn't toss them out with the trash. It is so easy, especially when we are fresh and full of life, to toss others that maybe stale out with the trash. Don't do it. Expel moisture into their dark, dry circumstances. Help them have a fresh start if they are willing. Be bread! If you are stale, start surrounding yourself with bread people and watch your life/ vision change.

I think Dr. King said it the best... 'Keep Moving Forward'...

Watch this video of Christian Musician Matthew West saying it great too... "Do Something"!

 

 

The Emotional Cardiac Arrest of Families

I am sure that you wonder what I am talking about when I say cardiac arrest of Families!?

This blog is based off of real life experiences and thoughts behind those experiences.
What is causing our families cardiac arrest? What is the heart of families? Why, it's simple... DIVORCE is the emotional cardiac arrest of families... Families are built on love. When the love ceases to breath it suffers cardiac arrest.

*Before reading any further, there are situations that arise in marriages where one party has to get out for their/ their family's own safety. I don't want anyone to stay in unfortunate situations (truly unfortunate) because of reading this blog post. Sometimes there are no other options but to divorce*

The heart of a family is the love that a couple has for one another. This weekend I was faced with a real-time example of how divorce hemorrhages pain through other people that are involved and affects more than just the said couple. This weekend I spent a great deal of time with extended family that is suffering from divorce and abandonment. In this blog, I am going to be vague, yet to the point. I understand that not everyone will agree with every aspect of my feelings, but I am entitled to my feelings. I, also, understand that there are situations that arise which calls for immediate separation or divorce. Some of those are abuse (not just physical), infidelity and more...

Statistics show that the divorce rate in America is sky high. Statistics show that divorce is almost becoming the new normal. It is normal for kids to grow up in broken homes while being swapped in custody exchanges. Why? Why is the divorce rate so high? Why is this the new normal? I would suggest, besides the obvious reasons for immediate divorce, that either one or both parties in a marriage refuses to fight for their marriage. In an instant society, it's easier to throw the marriage away and find another 'fish in the sea' or just remain single the rest of your life.

Should marriage be a fight? One thing that I have learned in my marriage of two years is that the enemy tries to steal, kill and destroy our marriage. The enemy knows how to utilize those things and people to destroy a marriage that was built on faith, hope and love. The enemy utilizes families and friends to place seeds of doubt. The enemy uses co-workers to place thoughts of unhappiness. The enemy uses troubled finances. The enemy uses laundry and dirty dishes, too. lol. I believe it is the number one job of the enemy to destroy the very things that have been ordained by God and the enemy strikes marriages to cripple families. Fight for you marriage. The fight is not against your spouse, but the fight is against the principalities of darkness that are attacking your marriage.

How does my marriage failing cripple my family? Let's face it... Your family knows your spouse. Your kids know their (step)father or (step)mother and more than likely have bonded. Whether you've been married 40 years or 4 months, you family has formed some kind of bond with your significant other. When divorce happens, generally, one party will no longer have relationship with the family. Yes, there may still be custody exchanges, etc... Divorce affects everyone involved. Honestly, in my marriage, we try to spend time with all of our family. Unfortunately, having a relationship with family is double sided. You can't have a one sided relationship, even with family... Period... It will not work long term.  If Christina was removed from my family, it would devastate those that are closest to us. The one's that truly have been supportive of our relationship and knows the type of couple that we are would feel some of that hemorrhaging hurt that I mentioned earlier. It would hemorrhage from us, initially, and flow onto those close to us. Why? Because you hurt when someone you love is hurting.

How do I fight for it, I'm so tired? From personal experiences, life brings routine. In routine, we sometimes get complacent to continue doing things to get by each day. BREAK THE ROUTINE before the routine BREAKS YOU. Don't sit at home watching Saturday morning cartoons every weekend, get out with your spouse and go somewhere different. If you go to Walmart every Saturday, change it up and go to the mall or Target. Drive to the nearest tourist town and hold hands while walking around. Enjoy each other's company. Feel free to date again!! One thing that Christina and myself will do is date. Yes, we're married, but we still date. We go have fun and experience new things together. We live life together.

How can my marriage thrive? With only 2 1/2 years of marriage under my belt, this is something that we are still figuring out. We take things day by day. We have our good days and we have our bad days. We have days where one of us may want to walk away. We have days where we never want to walk away. Set goals in your marriage. Set goals together. This will give you something to thrive toward.

Here are 10 practical and simple ways that we make our marriage thrive:
 1.) We are grounded in our local church - Small groups are next for us
2.) We communicate effectively and efficiently - Never, ever go to bed mad. Talk or write it out!
3.) We dust off the petty things - we don't fight about who is doing laundry or cleaning bathrooms 
4.) We allow no one to come in between us - sometimes you have to lose people along the way
5.) We have short and long term marriage goals - We talk about them together.
6.) We hold hands in public (PDA) -We even hold hands at the table sometimes. We're that couple.
7.) We no longer fight over chores - We help each other. We don't worry about getting credit.
8.) We consistently communicate throughout the day - A lot of times by text or FB, if we're busy.
9.) We involve family in our lives - But they don't consume every free moment.
10.) Freely we give - We find favor in the sight of God by giving to help people as a couple


Do not be a lazy spouse. When you married, you agreed to tackle things together.

While being married, SUPPORT EACH OTHER!! No reasonable couple marries in hopes to file a divorce. No couple starts a family in hopes to be left alone to raise a child. Support one another. You can't feel like your marriage was predestined to be but not fight for your marriage.
Divorce is real, but should never be used as a threat so you can have your way.

Find a support group, pastor or counselor if you need to talk. Marriage counseling is not a bad thing. Marriage counseling can help you learn your spouse and gain knowledge from people who have been married a long time or been through many storms.

In between going through all of this turmoil the last few days, I have found hope. I was speaking to a dear relative on the phone about the situations that we have encountered because I needed advice. While I was on the phone with him, I vented about numerous of things. Since it is about transparency, I told this individual that the events of the immediate past were becoming too much for me and I didn't know how I could continue... I wanted out. I wanted life to be back normal again. I don't like confusion, period. The individual spoke words of life to me. He said, "Joshua, you and Christina have found favor with God in your marriage. You both are role models to people and don't even realize it. You both are blessed. Don't allow anyone or anything to separate what God has found favor with." Honestly, still hurt and drained, that made me mad. I didn't understand why I couldn't receive support to escape... However, I realized while venting my frustrations to Christina that in fact, he was supporting me and encouraging me to focus on reality. My reality is my marriage and Christina.

If you allow the turmoil, confusion and advice of others to dictate your relationship with your spouse, go ahead and plan for divorce. It would thrill the enemy to know that another marriage is destroyed and multiple lives are left picking up the pieces and asking what happened.

Remember to support your spouse. Love them as Christ loves the church. FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE so the family will no longer suffer this emotional cardiac arrest.

"Marriage is grand. Divorce is twenty grand."  -- Jay Leno

Never Satisfied

  

I, immediately, felt a call to repentance this morning during my ride to work. When I woke up this morning, I knew that the temps had fallen in our area. I knew that it was going to be a very cold morning that required us to dress in layers. So that is what I did.

In late 2014, Christina and myself were blessed to be able to purchase a brand new car. Through our giving to others and the local church, God has always supplied our need. Even in trying times where I was worried about the finances, We STILL made it. We made it by the grace of God. His grace led us to the right place, right person and at the right time to purchase this fully upgraded vehicle with under 100 miles. This vehicle surpassed all of our standard expectations from the previous one. It has a panoramic sunroof, LED lighting, Blue link (similar to OnStar), updated GPS systems and heated front seats. Wow, Praise God! That was our thoughts in October about the coming winter and having heated seats!

This morning as I jumped into the car to warm it, I found myself with issues. I found myself questioning the purchase and should we have expected more. I found myself being a typical human. I found myself being unsatisfied because it didn't come with an automatic start. Not long after I pulled my 'smart phone' out and snapped a picture of the frigid temps and loaded my complaint onto social media, I found myself feeling guilty for the remarks that I thought and posted to social media. I was quickly reminded that I am blessed. There are many people that do not even have a car to drive or doesn't have heat in their homes. I was reminded that I slept good last night and stayed warm, but in that instance of complaint that wasn't good enough.

Why would I complain? Why is it that my generation suffers from it not being good enough? Why is it that we were just blessed with a new car with upgrades but it still lacked something? These are all thoughts that I have been pondering on since this morning. Honestly speaking, it doesn't lack anything. It is more than enough.
My generation has become so infatuated with loving materials, loving instantaneous responses and loving self, that we forget how blessed we truly are in our lives. We forget that there are people less fortunate than us. We forget that we are the hands and feet of Jesus. It's time we stop complaining and be thankful!

God's faithfulness never changes. Regardless of how unsatisfied we are, He still loves us. He loves us so much that sometimes we may hear a still small voice to remind us. He loves us so much that He sent His son to hang on a cross and be battered for our sake. He loves us so much that He sent a Comforter to walk with us on a daily basis. He loves us so much that He has a place waiting on us. That place is Heaven and it is far better than anything we can have on this earth.

Lord, help us today to be thankful for the things that you have blessed us with. After all, it isn't about the things that we have, but it's about who we have. It's about knowing you. It's about loving others and showing your love to them. It is about giving to the less fortunate and offering a helping hand in time of need. God, help us to become more like you. Help us to love like you love. Help us to remember that it is all about You. It is all about You, Lord. Help me God to be ever thankful for who you are and the impact that you have made in my life and in my marriage. Thank you Lord for loving us and sharing your Son with us so that we may be saved from death, hell and the grave. In Jesus' name, AMEN!!

Remember: No matter where we are in life, there is someone less fortunate than we are. Let's be thankful for a God that loves us and blesses those that bless Him.

"Give yourself entirely to those around you. Be generous with your blessings. A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal." --- Steve Maraboli